The Tale Of The No Good, Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad Sheet Set – A Shitty Sex Story.

by thecomplexsimplicity

****WARNING THIS IS A VERY HONEST, VULGAR, DIRTY, SEX STORY BETWEEN TWO CONSENTING ADULT MEN….IF THIS SORT OF THING TURNS YOU OFF THAN CLICK ON CUZ THIS AIN’T FOR YOU! ALSO…IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH…SKIP THE END…YOU’VE BEEN WARNED****

So…I was horny and lonely one night in the not so distant past and on an online dating site I found this guy…early 20′s….super my type, slim, gauged earings, swoopy hipster hair, some tattoo’s, skinny jeans, that blue eye’d black  hair combo I love so very much.

Totally into me. Totally my type.  AND…he  was a total power bottom looking for an aggressive top guy (which I just happen to be) to pound him out and toss him around a bit.

Yes. Please.

So we chit chat a bit and finally I invite him over. I had been cleaning the house all day getting my apartment ready for a sub-letter who is going to spend the next month in my place while I take a trip. I had bought a brand new 80 dollar sheet set and made the room nice and clean for this sub-letter. But I didn’t see the harm in breaking in the sheets a bit before I left.

So this kid gets here…we will call him Scott.

Scott texts me that he’s outside so I go down to let him in. The minute I opened the door his eyes got bright, he got a giant genuine smile on his face and said

“Shit man, you are fucking sexy!”

This warmed my fuckin heart….such a beautiful, cool guy so into me? Fuck yes.

I grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and I pull him in for a deep hot kiss in the doorway of my apartment building. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other as we tumbled up the stairs in a heated make out session stopping only for him to pull away and look at my face and hair and remark once again how fucking sexy he found me.

God he was into me and god damn it was hot.

We tumbled into my apartment, which of course he loved and had to take pause to tell me so(good taste too!? Fuck…I was sold)

I told him to get on his knees and suck my dick.

He did so with a smile like a good boy.

There I stood in the middle of my living room with my pants around my ankles, and my dick in the mouth of one of the most beautiful creatures I’ve ever laid eyes on.  The only thing that could make this better was a joint.

“Do you smoke weed?”

Again his giant smile and lit up eyeballs

“Fuck ya!”

I reached over, grabbed a joint and lit it while he continued to suck my dick in the middle of the living room. I raised my face to the ceiling and enjoyed the joint smoke and the expert blow job I was receiving from this most hot creature on his knees before me. For every 2 of my hits I would pull my dick out of his mouth and replace it with the joint, shoving his head back down on my dick before he could exhale the joint smoke. I fucked his face and reveled in the smoke for a good ten minutes or so before I pulled him up to his knees for more of that hot making out and tearing at eachothers clothings. Against the wall, against the fridge, on the couch, on the floor, my room mates bed, the hallway wall, the hallway floor….we tousled around the apartment making out in heated passions, fingers thru eachothers hair, clawing at eachothers shoulders and backs.

Jesus, fuck…this was driving me wild.

At one point he pulled away and asked with a coy smirk-

“You into toys?”

I mean…I’ve used/tried pretty much any/every toy out there….it’s not my thing but if it turns on a guy as hot as him…sure.

Tonight…I was into toys.

“Sure…did you bring something?”

Again he flashed me that devil grin, grabbed his messenger bag and headed into my bedroom where, in the dim amber sex light from the corner he proceeded to lay out an arsenal of dildos and lubes, poppers and butt plugs.

I was shocked – I had no idea what to do with the things he pulled from his naughty little Mary Poppins bag of dildos and things.

These were not just your run of the mill dildos…these were those ones low on the wall or in a case behind the register at a sex toy shop…the ones you grab when you are in a sex toy shop with your friends and you hold up a rubber fist arm and ask

“Can you fuckin imagine the lose slut who uses these things?!”

The arsenal Scott laid out on my bed was a veritable cornucopia of the largest most fucked up perverted dildo sex toys I had ever seen. A fist/forearm dildo, a horse cock dildo, a giant black but plug, giant heavy hunks of rubber shaped like penises of all shapes, sizes, colors and motions. A giant tub of lube and an industrial sized bottle of poppers he must have purchased at Sam’s Club or some such buy-in-bulk type store. When he had them all laid out and displayed he sat back on his haunches and looked up at me for approval with his Cheshire Cat smirk.

Fuck this kid was sexy and totally twisted.

I will admit I didn’t know what to do with these large weapons of mass anal destruction so I leaned back against my bedroom door to jack myself off and look sexy as I said

“I wanna watch you fuck yourself with one.”

This was a mix of sheer morbid curiosity and I truly had no idea what to do…I figured if he showed me…well…then…I’d know?

What I witnessed next was the likes of which you see in twisted viral videos friends send you to freak you out (what your friends don’t send each other those videos?)

Without lube, without spit…in one felt swoop he laid back with his legs in the air and pushed the fist/forearm dildo deep into his guts.

oh….oh my god I could not believe he just did that with no lube or working up to it. It was truly fascinating how much a human can stick up that tiny little hole we call a but. He threw his head back and jack hammerly pounded this giant fist arm dildo in and out of his ass…no lube…fast…hard…he had to be damaging things up inside of there. He had to have been.

After a few minutes of him jack hammering and laughing and giggling and moaning and jerking off I assumed the next move was to be mine as it had been established that I was calling the shots…I didn’t know what to do so I just reached out and grabbed the elbow end of this giant rubber arm and kept his thrusting motions going…this drove him wild with lust…he started writhing and moaning and whimpering and grinding into it  as I shoved it harder and harder into him… Jesus I had to have been hurting something inside of him…I had to have been.

With my right hand I fucked the rubber fist arm in and out of his ass and I balanced my weight with my left hand on his chest as I leaned in to make out with him, he moaned and yelped with horny bliss in my mouth as we kissed deep and I pummeled his insides with this giant rubber forearm. As I pulled up from the kiss my left hand slid up and rest (still with my weight) on his throat, leaving me almost choking him….to which he responded with that giant smile once again informing me he wanted more of that choking thing (which I was more than obliged to do as this is one of my favorite sexual kinks) so with my left hand wrapping tighter around his throat, choking him, owning him, holding him down right where I wanted him – I fucked this giant flesh colored rubber fisted forearm deep into his ass. And he loved every second of it. This crazy hot kid in my bed was in bliss because of this owning I was giving him.

My mind then wandered to….what happens when I fuck him….how the hell is he going to even feel me?! I mean…my dick is wildly above average in the girth dept and most guys have a hard time taking me…but this kid slid this enormous rubber arm inside of him without lube or a moments hesitation…my – compared to most guys – titanic girth was going to go unfelt by his very lose asshole. It actually started to turn me off a bit…the thought of his asshole and how it was going to feel…and then I started thinking about the number of other men and what they had done to this kids butt before I came along…I was losing my hard on and suddenly this very hot kid in my bed started turning me off.

no no…no I can’t let this happen he is way too hot to NOT enjoy. So I told him to get on his hands and knees on the edge of my bed and fuck himself with his dildo while he sucked my dick..I stood at the edge of my bed trying to get my now semi-hard erection back to it’s full stature. He flipped around and got into position as he was told the whole time with a horny grin and total eye contact with his sparkling blue eyes lit with excitement and passion thru the dim light.

He knelt at the edge of my bed practically chomping at the air for my dick that rested just out his mouth reach. When he got into this position…the giant arm dildo slid out of his asshole and on to my bed.

So too…did the entire contents of his bowels.

In diarrhea form

Yep. That’s right. All over my bed.  All over my brand new sheet set.

And what’s worse? He had no fucking idea he had just shit all over my bed. He was so hyped up on poppers and lust that when he got up onto his hands and knees he had no idea he had just taken a giant porta potty contents sized dump on my bed, he just picked the dildo up off the bed (covered in diarrhea) and shoved it back in his hole as he chomped at the air for my dick.

What the fuck do I do now.

Was the thought on repeat.

This is what I get….this is what I get for having a random hook up…this is what I get for sleeping with someone that ISN’T the guy I am in love with.

A shit covered bed.

My thoughts raced…

Oh god…I’m leaving in a day or two for a month long trip that I have JUST enough money for and now I’m gonna have to buy a brand new matress and bed set before the sublet gets here.

And I’m going to have to clean this up?!

How does he not realize that he and my bed, his legs, his hands, his feet, his dildo, his but are all covered in his diahrrea?!

How did this kid who was so hot ten minutes go all of a sudden become so grossly unattractive to me?

How had I not seen these flaws that were now glaring at me like my cat does when she is hungry??

I’m soft, I’m standing naked in the middle of my bedroom staring at him dumbfounded and stunned…why is he still chomping at the air for my penis?!

Oh my god…I have to clean all this up and buy a new mattress and a whole new sheet set.

HOW CAN HE NOT SMELL HIS SHIT ALL OVER THE PLACE!!??

“Hey…I’m sorry….I really hate to be an asshole but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Huh? Wait…why? What’s wrong? I thought we were having a really hot time?”

He still had no fucking clue.

“I just am not feeling well all of a sudden…sometimes poppers do that to me…sorry man I feel really bad I just…I really need you to go now.”

He got up with an

“aww”

To hug me and give me a kiss to make me feel better and the LAST thing I wanted was this diarrhea covered boy to touch me and kiss me…how the hell did he still not know?!

I backed away (which killed me cuz if this hadn’t happened there was nothing more I would have wanted on the planet for the boy who first walked in my apartment to hug me and kiss me and make it all ok and here I was now utterly repulsed by him)

“I just…really need you to go. Sorry.”

“No prob man…sure, ok…it’s cool…we’ll hang out again…I just live around the corner so we can hang out whenever you want…you’re a really hot guy, this was fun. We’ll def hang out again.”

No. No I would not be hanging out with this digusting boy again.

“Yea definitely…sorry again I just – feel really sick all of a sudden.”

He put his pants and underwear back on…his shoes and socks…his tshirt and zipped up his hoody and put his coat on.

Since he still didn’t realize he had just emptied his guts all over himself and my bed he hadn’t wiped up and had just put his cloths on over his shit covered body.

(side note….I couldn’t make this up if I tried)

Again he leans in for a kiss…and again I back away. He actually looked kind of hurt and shunned. Which made me feel terrible to have turned on him so quickly….I can’t imagine how that must have felt.

I also have to note that despite how turned off, disgusted, repulsed, etc i was….more than the fear of cleaning this up, worse than having to buy and get a new mattress into my apartment….more than all of that combined….I felt sooooo badly for him. He had no idea which was even worse but if I had done this?!?! Oh god…I would have killed myself from the utter embarrassment and shame of it all….and to not even realize what you have done?! Oh the shame. I actually wanted to hold the kid close and be calm him down like a crying baby to let him know that in a weird way it was ok and he shouldn’t be scared from this….but he didn’t even know so he needed no consoling. Maybe it would be best if he didn’t know?

He leaned on my bed to start picking up his dildos one by one and put them back into his messenger bag like a sad kid packing up his toys because his friend ruined all the fun.

Oh…there is that image again….this image of a beautiful boy on his hands and knees picking up his things from my bedroom and packing them to leave…it reminded me of  watching my ex bf Skye packing his things before leaving earlier this year….Scott and I had just met and we were already going thru the breakup.

He reached for the last black shadow dildo on my bed, only it wasn’t another dildo. It was his pile of diarrhea seeping thru my brand new sheet set and into my mattress.

Oh my god….my mattress…I was about to leave in less than 48 hours, the sublet was on her way to what she thought was a fully furnished month long sublet and now I had to spend what little money I had saved for this trip on buying and transporting a new mattress because some trick from the internet shit all over my bed?!

“Oh..um…do you have a towel or something?”

“Uhh a towel? Uhm…ya sure, why?”

“I ah…I think I just leaked a little bit I should, uhm.”

Leaked? LEAKED?! No sir…you didn’t “leak” which implies some gentle little squirt of unpleasentry , you sir emptied your bowls, every drop from the darkest corner of ur intestines…onto my bed, my brand new sheet set and my awesome cream covered corduroy quilt and now you want to smear one of my towels thru the satans gravy that just slid out onto my bed?!

“Oh did you? Hang on, yea…let me grab you a towel.”

Once in the bathroom and shielded from view I had myself a nice little silent scream dance before returning – composure regained – to my bedroom with the death knoll for my towel ringing in my head. Handing him that towel was in slow motion somehow….the memories of that towel…the boys who’s dicks and faces and asses were dried off and rubbed all over the terrycloth that was soon to be smeared with liquid feces…now…I throw on to the fire. Goodbye towel.

Once  he finished smearing the – once owned by my ex bf – towel around in his poop piles he realized just what a big messy disgusting job this was going to be and just sorta left the towel where it lay….in a ball like a towel island in an ocean of  diarrhea

He tried to kiss me again and give me a hug…my clearer than day disinterest made him sad.

This made me feel so guilty.

But…like…really dude, you just shit all over my room and ur covered in it yourself. It’s squishing around you legs in your skinny jeans. The last thing I want to do is embrace and kiss and be intimate with u at this moment in time.

He once again gave me a

“well…you’re  really great man, totally fun. Super sexy. Let’s chill again. Sorry this didn’t work out.”

With that he left, leaving me to quickly scramble around for garbage bags, hazmat suits, rubber gloves and various cleaning chemicals and disinfectants. I pulled my brand new sheets in from all corners and tossed the poopy pouched sheets into a giant lawn sized garbage bag. It was soaked thru to the sheet beneath that.

So again i pulled all the corners in and tossed that sheet.

Two more layers of sheets and a pillow top matress cover.

Now in the garbage.

Jesus…..one more layer of sheet….if this diarrhea has soaked thru to my mattress I swear I’m just gonna kill myself right here. Hurl myself out the window of my apartment or drain my veins all over the bed and walls in some dramatic suicide show.

the four corners of the last sheet were pulled in and so gratefully to my surprise…my mattress was fresh, clear and white.

I wouldn’t have to purchase a new mattress after all!! Things were looking up.

I poured an entire bottle of Oxy cleaner and Lysol on my mattress where his shit was and let it soak for a day or so before putting another new set of sheets on it just in time for the sublets arrival.

I do feel badly for this kid Scott. I would really love to hook up with him again…maybe even go on a date or something…he seemed amazing….except for the whole being a total freak in bed and shitting diarrhea all over my bed. I mean…I survived, I didn’t end up having to touch any of his feces…all that really happened was I lost a really  nice set of bedding….but I most definitely won’t be seeing him again.

What a shitty situation.